With Every Tear
by Shinigami-Of-Hell
Summary: The pain never completely goes away...or does it? Kyo, reflecting upon himself, chances to have Yuki come home when he's all alone. Will the two find comfort in each other? Oneshot. [YxK]


**Hello readers I am Calismo and I will be your authoress this evening. For your enjoyment we have 2 gallon sodas and peanuts for you to munch. -smile- This is my first story on this account so I'm not sure how popular it will be so we will see. Indeed this is not my first story ever but it is my first shounen-ai fic. My other one is full out yaoi. The pairing here is YukixKyo and it is simply shounen-ai. Well readers, enjoy.

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With Every Tear**

He is doing it again. He is crying. Crystaline tears fall down his pale cheeks, his racking sobs echoing through the empty home. Everyone is out eating dinner in some fancy restaurant, compliments of Momiji. The boy has forever been taking them places since Tohru arrived. He had opted to stay behind, not wanting a big meal with the entire family present. Even though there is no reason he should be afraid to go, he just...didn't want to see. It is day three of Christmas Break and throughout all three of those days everyone has just seemed so cozy. All lovey-dovey and enchanted with the holiday decorations. Well that's all fine for them. At least they have someone to be lovey-dovey with. Unlike him... He sighs, wrapping his slender arms around his legs and pulling them up to his chest. His head rolls lightly around.

It is dark; he's turned off all the lights. His orangeish hair is dulled by the darkness, and his crimson eyes shine lightly as he raises them up to the window to see the moon. Kyo. Another tear falls down his cheek and splashes onto the wooden floor below. Another hour of crying and he'll drown in his own tears. How ironic. He gives a shaky laugh. How long has he been sitting here, wallowing in his self-pity? One hour? Two? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. Come the end of this year he will be forever locked away in a dingy room with no one to comfort him. All the memories he's built up over the past four years will be slowly but surely washed away as he does nothing but sit.

Kyo shivers at the thought. Doing nothing but sitting there...for the rest of his life? If it comes to that he'll just kill himself. He'll just stop breathing. To be forever inactive is a fate truly worse than death. His lips are dry, as is his mouth. The Christmas tree he'd been forced to shove into the house with Yuki lay in the corner in an angle as to not damage the needles. It looks so sad and pathetic, and rather dull. Resolved, Kyo pulls himself up. There is no reason anyone besides himself should look or feel sad and depressed around this time of year. He will not stand for it. Up to the third floor he goes, feet dragging against the wood. The decorations are all stuffed into one big box at the end of the hallway--just his luck. Now he has to find some way to transport it back down the stairs without damaging all the precious ornaments.

"Stupid box," he rubs the back of his head lightly. "Oh well, time to start."

Ornament box by ornament box he transports all the decorations down the stairs, starting first with the lights and the tinsel. He's always thought these things should be the first to go up, and not the ornaments. That way they wouldn't have to worry about knocking them over as they tried desperately to wrap the tinsel around and around. Sadly Shigure never sees it his way and as it is his house, the dog always got his way. But this Christmas would be different, as it would be his last. There was no way he was going to let anything go wrong. Bit by bit the tree is decorated until not only the tinsel and lights are on but some of the ornaments as well. Even if it is all random, it is still looking very nice. He finishes within the hour.

He stares, awed at its beauty. He is doubly awed when he turns out all the lights once more and flicks the switch. The bright lights of the tree wash over him, filling him with a deep sense of contentment. Soon he sprawls himself out at the base of the tree and wills the pain to wash away. Every other decoration has already been placed up, but Kyo loves his tree most by far. How could they even think of putting other decorations up before the tree? Oh well, all that matters now is that its all done. Closing his eyes softly, he is surprised as another tear falls from his eye. Despite the happiness he feels from being able to create something so beautiful, the pain is still there. It will never wash away. Not completely.

The clock reads eight; everyone has been out for five hours. Perhaps he's missed the chance for an after-party. It won't surprise him if that's what they've done. But wait, now it's raining. When did that happen? He would be able to understand if it is the nice soft rain that lulls you to sleep but no--it is raining sheets of water. Now that he is focused on it, it's all he hears. But, oh, it's nice too. When you're depressed even what normally revolts you can soothe you... A soft sigh is heard through the sound of the rain as Kyo turns onto his side and lays on the floor, unmoving. The tears are falling faster but he doesn't move to wipe them away. And soon, he is asleep. So deep in sleep that he doesn't hear the door open, nor see his famous rival rush through the door, soaking wet. Yuki.

"Kyo...?"

The said stirs at his name but otherwise does nothing. Unfortunately Yuki does not see Kyo from where he lays and moves forward through the dark house, awed when he sees the Christmas tree. Moving closer to inspect it, he hits Kyo and goes tumbling onto the floor, landing with an 'oomph.' Kyo, upon contact with Yuki, wakens with a stream of obscenity coming from his mouth. The nezumi tries to shut Kyo up and stand up at the same time, but fails miserably. One, because Kyo is much to flustered and shocked to stop swearing and two, because he keeps slipping. The floor is wet, and not because of him. Frustrated, Yuki clamps his hand against Kyo's mouth, cutting off the flow of words. Then he yanks the both of them up onto their feet.

"Damn rat! Can't you see!"

"You were the one who was..."

Yuki trails off as he sees Kyo's eyes. Rimmed with red, they look as though Kyo has been crying. Yuki gulps. But that is impossible. Kyo never cries. He would never... His mind is instantly changed when he sees Kyo's cheeks. Trails of tears have dried on them, much to his surprise. Impossible as it might sound, Kyo had been crying. Yuki swallows again, soundlessly mouthing words. He shivers as a tremor racks his body, but from what he doesn't know. Perhaps the wetness of his clothes... Turning swiftly on his heel he walks past Kyo and ascends the stairs to his room, leaving the stunned neko behind. What had Yuki been about to say? And what was with the look in his eyes when he trailed off? Kyo ponders, furious when he realizes it was a look of sadness. Of pity. For him? He clenched his fists. He didn't need anyone's pity. Especially not Yuki's.

"Damn..."

He stomps up the stairs to Yuki's room, yanking the door open and stepping inside. Opening his mouth to tell the said exactly what he thinks of him and his pity, Kyo is completely unprepared to see Yuki, in nothing but a pair of boxers, towel-drying his hair by the window. Yuki freezes, embarassed, and yells for Kyo to get out. But that doesn't stop the neko. No, even if he is completely shocked he has to go through with this. He can't be shied away by such a small detail as a half-naked Yuki. A smile plays on the corners of his mouth. For some reason this is even better than yelling Yuki out. The boy's discomfort is shown via the dark blush that is currently staining his face. The smile is pulled onto his lips, quickly turning into a smirk. Oh no, he's not going anywhere.

"So where's everyone else?" he asked curiously, sitting soundlessly on Yuki's plushy bed.

"They're at the main house. Shigure sent me home so you wouldn't be alone..."

Kyo ran his fingers through his hair, not failing to notice that the blush on Yuki's face became darker. What fun he could have here. What fun indeed... His naturally pointed teeth smile wickedly at Yuki, who is still unmoving. A witty comment comes to Kyo's mind, but he chooses to keep it away for a while. Their eyes meet for one brief moment, sparks flying between them. Yuki pales, moving so that the towel in his hand is covering his waist area. The other fights back a laugh.

"...There was too much rain and the car broke down."

"I see..." Kyo cocks his head. "Tell me, Yuki, why are you not getting dressed? Do you like to be seen like that?"

The nezumi shoots him a dirty glare before stalking off towards his dresser for clothes. Kyo merely smiles in amusement. It is very rare for anyone to see Yuki so flustered, since he's normally very good at keeping his emotions in check. Much different than himself. All his emotions have to come out when he feels them. Perhaps that's why people see him as a monster... Sadly, Yuki moves to his bathroom to change, leaving Kyo with no one to torment. So instead he scrutinizes the room. Funny, he's never really seen Yuki's room. It is just a part of their unwritten contract that they will hate each other and will never step foot in each others rooms, minus certain occasions.

But despite the fact that he despises Yuki, he rather likes the boy's room. The plushy bed and carpet are both a deep, soothing purple with a single square of black centered in the middle. And in the middle of those squares is a single silver rat. Cute. The walls are also purple, but a much lighter shade. More of a lavender shade. Lavender. The name clicks in Kyo's brain. Yuki always smells of lavender. He's never noticed before... The nezumi's room is very neat and organized. School books over here, student council area over there--Kyo is willing to bet that if he opens Yuki's dresser drawers all his clothes will be organized by color. But before he can check, Yuki reenters the room fully dressed.

Kyo eyes him warily, surprised by the cold look on his face. Something bad is going to happen, this he knows for sure. Not that he wouldn't mind a fight right about now. In fact, he'd love one. Anything to take his mind off the pain which, when Yuki came home, doubled.

"Why are you so sour?"

Yuki states his question simply, but underneath the simplicity lies a purpose. A mission. He too can play Kyo's game. And he can win. Kyo merely chooses to ignore the question, instead focusing on the single strand of hair on Yuki's head that is out of place. Everyone knows it infuriates Yuki to no end when people ignore him but he really doesn't care. It is war at the moment, and his pride is at stake. Though he must admit that he is completely surprised when Yuki lunges at him, pinning him to the wall. His purpleish eyes are filled with fire; a fire that Kyo rarely sees in Yuki. He's hit a definate nerve in the nezumi. He smirks inwardly. Good. Now he can see what it's like to be ignored 24/7, with people mocking your existence.

A single tear falls from both his and Yuki's eyes. Their breath hitches as they see the opposite tear slide down the other's cheek. The tears hit their hands as they fall. Tentatively Yuki takes Kyo's hand and brushes the tear away before interlacing his fingers with Kyo's. He does the same with the other hand, leaning forward to nuzzle Kyo's neck. For some unknown reason he wants to make it all feel better. He wants to make all of the neko's pain disappear... He doesn't want to lose him. What would his life be like without Kyo there to annoy him; to constantly pick fights with him? To help him protect Tohru from her own stupidity? The thought is frightening. For his entire life, Kyo has been his enemy. He's forever had the thought pumped into his head. But...why should they suffer because everyone else wants to follow legend?

"Kyo..." Yuki whispers into his ear. "Stop crying."

"I'm not crying!" Kyo defends, softening as he feels Yuki's lips on his neck. "It's just...this is my last Christmas."

"Your last Christmas?"

But Kyo is already pulling away, chiding himself for slipping. Yuki doesn't know about his bet with Akito. He can't know--he'll go soft on him if he knows what will happen if Kyo doesn't beat him. Sometimes he wishes Yuki would just give in but what would be the happiness in that? Knowing that he won only because Yuki let up on him... That is not something he wants. He wants to defeat the nezumi fair and square. Scrambling, Yuki situates himself in front of Kyo as to stop the boy from leaving. He can't leave. Not now; not when they've started to become so close. He takes Kyo's hand and squeezes it lightly, as if asking him why he won't talk with him. Crimson eyes fill with tears, saddened by the simple gesture. He gives in. He's going to lose anyway, so what does it matter? Nothing matters anymore.

"Can we...not talk about it?" Kyo looks at Yuki, pleading. "Can we just sit?"

Yuki smiles brightly, "Of course!"

With Momiji-like enthusiasm, Yuki bounds over to his bed, dragging Kyo with him. They say nothing, merely sitting with their arms wrapped around each other in understanding. Through unspoken words their fears and their feelings are brought into the open. And with each thing that the two realize, the closer they move to each other until Yuki is resting peacefully in Kyo's lap. By this time all of their thoughts have been brought out...save one. What they feel about each other. It is a very sensitive subject, to be sure, and must be treated carefully. This subject will require words.

"I...don't hate you," Yuki says softly, turning slightly to see Kyo's face.

"Good. I don't hate you either," responds the neko as he runs his fingers lightly through Yuki's soft hair. "Though I thought I did."

"We thought a lot of things, didn't we...?"

The clock strikes ten. It is a dull, achy ring and it does nothing to improve the dark atmosphere of the room. The two silence themselves and listen to it as it rings for quite a while. For two hours they've been sitting here, not speaking. Two long hours that have passed like water through their fingers. Everyone will be back by morning--that's how long they have to sort out this mountain of feelings. For a moment neither of them speak, to immersed in their own thoughts to really say anything. What could they possibly say to each other that would solve this enigma? Perhaps they are pushing the limits with this subject; it is most definately one that will anger many people if they say the wrong thing. Thus, they say nothing. That is...until Kyo breaks the silence.

"I love you."

Yuki snaps his head around so fast he is struck with whiplash. Wincing, Yuki rubs his head softly, reduced to staring straight ahead. This does nothing to ease Kyo's love. How could he have just said it so bluntly! There was no warning, no prelude--he just blurted it out! There is absolutely no chance of Yuki returning his feelings at this point. But what exactly are his feelings? He says he loves him but does he even know what love is? All these feelings mixed together could be anything from love to extensive, extensive hate. The tears are threatening to come out again; they've not left him alone all night. He draws a shaky breath as Yuki turns--finally finished with his whiplash pain--and smiles lightly at him before pressing his lips to his in a chaste kiss.

"I love you, too..."

Kyo moans as Yuki kisses a sensitive spot on his neck. The nezumi continues kissing down his throat and towards his collarbone, smiling. Lightning begins flashing in the window, illuminating the two members of the jyunishii. If the lightning stikes at a certain angle and with a certain intensity it appears that the two are dead and glowing with ghostly light. As Yuki finishes with his light kisses, Kyo places his finger under his chin and forces Yuki to look up at him. His purple eyes are questioning. Chuckling softly Kyo leans down to kiss him, loving the softness of Yuki's lips. The neko's tongue slips out, brushing against Yuki's to demand entracne which the nezumi eagerly gives. Kyo delves deep into his mouth, content. Their tongues battle it out for dominance; an erratic dance.

"Ngh. Kyo..."

"Ne?"

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

Kyo kissed the tip of Yuki's nose, "Of course."

Finished with their tender kisses the two snuggle under the warm blankets of Yuki's bed together, fingers entwined. Kyo nuzzles Yuki's neck, taking in the sweet scent of lavender. The rain dies down bit by bit until nothing but a light drizzle remains. And the two can live with that. They snuggle closer to preserve the warmth between them; euphoria weaving a bubble around them. Their eyes close slowly, not caring of what people will think of them tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. They've found comfort in each other, and they refuse to lose it over such a simple matter as other people's jealousy and rage. Tohru will most likely find it sweet, Haru will support them fully, Momiji will pester them forever, and the infamous Mabudachi Trio will never let them live it down. All they have to worry about is Akito, but who cares about the Head of the family... They will kill him off eventually.

Content the neko and the nezumi drift off into pleasant dreams of each other. And deep in their sleep, they begin to cry. Both shed tears throughout the night and with every tear they are letting go of every doubt, terrible occasion, and fear that their bodies hold. And like that they sleep...

...until tomorrow.

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**-finishes peanut packet- So, how was it? Reviews greatly appreciated, of course. And I am wondering... should I make this into a longer story or have it remain a simple one-shot? This has been bothering me greatly so I shall let you readers decide. Please tell me in your review what you'd like me to do. Thank you for reading! -bow-**

**Note: nezumi - rat / neko - cat / jyunishii - twelve zodiac members**


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